love this man

Looking back on the past three months I really haven’t been that fair to him. He is not the guy who hurt me or cheated on me. He is someone brand new and God put him in to my life for a reason. And he treats me like a princess. He ALWAYS opens my doors for me and gets mad if I touch them haha he will slap my hand playfully and scowl and say, "hey I told you not to touch that!" even the other night when I tried to end it with him because I'm so scared of actually letting him in, letting him see how vulnerable I really am, he texts me all night and when im scared in the dark in my bed (because I watched this a&e show about a serial killer and couldn’t get it out of my head) he asks me if I want him to come over... after everything I have put him through... every little mean comment, every little snap of my short temper, and yet he is still here.

If that doesn’t prove something, I don’t know what does. He bought me new glasses online (when his glasses are being held together by lots and lots of black electrical tape) he is probably the most selfless person I have ever dated. There are so many little things he does every time he sees me; I don’t think a day goes by when he tells me how beautiful I am, (right after I take off all my makeup which is pretty much me at my lowest and lowest self esteem as well.) He also always makes sure I am happy (whether we are going to a movie or out to dinner or just lounging around the house) he always makes sure that I am home safe (and hates to not be the one tucking me into my bed, tucking my blanket and sheets around me, getting me all cuddled up in my blankets.

And to be absolutely honest, I never thought I would find a guy like this. A guy who could possibly care this much about me. I thought I had found one, but I knew all along that he didn’t truly care (with all of his soul, when it probably took this boy 3 weeks, maybe not even that to realize how much he cared about me. even when I continually pushed him away because I honestly couldn’t believe he was making such effort, for ME! I think us girls get used to guys treating us like crap (or not even that, but guys just not trying. not being in it for the right reasons.) guys that say all the right things but when it comes down to it, they could care less. or they care a little, but it is contingent upon what you can do for them. not this boy.

This is not a boy, this is a man. On the second date (we had probably known each other maybe a few weeks) I was at his house watching a movie and I fell asleep. My dad called my phone and woke me up and I apologized and drove home. The very next day (without me saying anything) this boy, ahem, man comes to my house to pick me up, comes in and finds my dad and apologizes for the fact that I fell asleep at his house. TO MY DAD. My dad is a sweet guy but he is pretty intimidating (even to me) he tells my dad that he didn’t mean to disrespect him in any way and that we would be better about me not being out so late. Not only did this man make such a great effort, but he had only known me for two weeks. A boy I had dated before him wouldn’t come over and talk to my dad EVER. I dated him for three years.

Three years. Spent with someone who didn’t care. Well actually I will give him a little credit. He cared, just not enough. If you truly love someone, and you want to be with them for the rest of your life (or in our case, for the rest of eternity :) then don’t you think a simple apology or just chatting with someone’s parents would come naturally? Its completely second nature to talk to his mom. I mean I can’t say that I wasn’t nervous when I first met her, but that doesn’t mean im scared to death of ever talking to her. and i would put up a fight for him, and not a physical fight with his mom (haha) but sit down with her if I screwed up and tell her how much I loved and adored her son, and how much I cared about having a good relationship with her, not just to make him happy, but because that’s what you do when you make a mistake. You dont hide, you face it head on. and you dont give up. if you dont give up you cant fail.

His family becomes my family. Baggage and all. And im excited about that. Maybe more excited than i should be.

Maybe someday I can show him as much love as he has shown me in the past four months. Wonderful man.